Things you need:
“Oven ready noodles.” Or as I like to call them, noodles.
Sauce: diced tomatoes and tomato sauce, wine, onion, garlic, spices, ground meat, and more wine.
Cheese: Ricotta Salata, Mozzarella, Parmesan.
Once again this is almost a follow-the-recipe on the box. However, the “oven ready noodles” are a rip off. All noodles matter. All noodles are oven ready. As long as there is liquid for the noodles to absorb/soften, they are fine to cook in-situ. That’s a fancy word for in place. Because I’m fancy!
As much as I hate to admit it, here my husband is probably right: the sauce is the key, and the key to sauce is spices. So add garlic powder, Italian seasoning (oregano, basil, thyme, rosemary), onion powder and salt.
Brown some meat, beef, lamb, pork, or turkey; whatever you like. Add the spices and salt at this point.
Add onion and garlic into the meat. Then add cans of diced tomatoes and some tomato sauce. Then add wine. Once this is bubbly you have sauce!
Save some wine for yourself. You deserve it. You’re making lasagna for your fucking family. Depending on how fast you drink and how much wine is left you can use it as a timer. I tend to find that after ¾ of a bottle the lasagna is ready for the last stage.
For the cheese mix this is what my family likes (and by family, I mean husband; the kids go along).
Mozzarella – like a big bag. I mean, not the CostCo size big bag but the normal grocery store big bag. Let’s not get carried away here. We all love CostCo but there are limits.
Ricotta Salata (about 5oz) – because my husband hates regular ricotta. I know he’s weird, but ricotta salata is actually pretty good. It has a texture more like feta and is salty like feta. A possible substitute according to the internet is Pecorino Romano. (I’ll let you know if this is true—trying tonight.)
Parmesan (two cups-ish; maybe three).
Mix ¾ of the big bag of mozzarella with ½ of the parmesan and all the ricotta salata in one bowl – this is your inside-the-lasagna cheese.
Mix the rest of the mozzarella and parmesan for the top.
Now we layer. Start with a few scoops of sauce on the bottom, this helps the lasagna not stick and moistens the noodles.
Then a full layer of noodles, then sauce, then cheese, then noodles, then sauce, then cheese, then noodles again. Until your pan is full. End on cheese with the mozzarella/parmesan mix.
Cover with tin foil. If you don’t want the cheese to stick use a spray oil on it (like PAM or the organic version that makes you feel good about yourself).
Cook till the bottle of wine is gone. 45-60 min. If you don’t want to drink watch for bubbles in the pan.
Once the pan is bubbling and/or your wine is gone remove the foil and cook for another 15 or so mins. You know, enough time to aerate another bottle of wine and brown the cheese on top.
Remove and eat.
In other news…we talked with the 6-year old about racism because that came up. We tried to explain after a glass or two of wine. Needless to say, we will have to try again.
I’m concerned about my daughter. She speaks in the third person. The other day she also said: “I love you mom. I won’t break you apart.”
How many psychopaths am I raising? Will homeschooling and Covid make this worse? I might need a wine club membership.
I’ve never NOT cooked the noodles first, but this sounds brilliant! I’m definitely going to try it. Maybe I’d make it more often if it didn’t take so freaking long!